Episode 21: Dollop: William Walker

I may earn money from the participating companies linked in this post: Bookshop.org (supporting my nearby independent bookstore Bluebird & Co, in Crozet, VA) and/or Audible. My podcast is sponsored by Audible and Care/Of.

It’s like a vacation where you leave with the place you went to. That’s better than a snow globe.


Walker_Nicaragua_mapYet another reason why we smart kids are spooky, much like Dr. Lilly. As the guys said,  WIlliam Walker’s like Doogie Howser‘s Got a Gun.

I imagine, instead of writing mine mine mine all over it, Walker just pissed on this map and air-dried it. I know he did. Consider it fact. He claimed it by pissing on it.

And then he designed his own flag, and christened it by pissing on it, hitting the star, of course.

The Mexican War (1846-1848)

I have great affection for Cornelius Vanderbilt, because I am from North Carolina, the home of his incredible, quirky, gorgeous Gatsby mansion. I now have even more affection for him for the way he handled Walker and Co.’s shenanigans. I shall upload my own photographs from Biltmore House, whether or not it stars it in its own episode.

Never fuck with a guy who has a college named after him.



1987 movie, Walker: Ed Harris plays William Walker, the wonderful deaf actress Marlee Martin plays Ellen Martin, and Peter Boyle plays Cornelius Vanderbilt.

Tycoon’s War: How Cornelius Vanderbilt Invaded a Country to Overthrow America’s Most Famous Military Adventurer * Stephen Dando-Collins

Bands from this episode:

  • Puppet Presidente
  • Cholera Retreat
  • Gimme Gimme

Cultural references from this episode:


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