This now feels like the meth-iest plan ever.
One of my favorite parts of this whole story is that, when injured in 1990 from a motorcycle accident, Nelson sued the hospital for false imprisonment.
Damn you kidnapping bastards for your three meals a day and your Dilaudid and your physical rehabilitation!
The falsely imprisoning hospital did a really good job on his injured back, because the gold mine he dug in his backyard was 18 feet deep by the time he crawled out and decided to go Falling Down on the town on Clairemont. I am 5 foot 2. Jinkies.
So, by May 17, 1995, his parents had both died of cancer (in 1992), his live-in girlfriend had died (just that April) of a drug overdose, his house was in foreclosure, his lookee-gold! mining backyard scheme was quickly losing any steam it had had. So Nelson did what anyone would do.
He stole a tank.
He killed a fire hydrant, several cars, and an RV.
The Armory now locks the doors and stuff. Good call.
There’s a documentary, which I shall be watching and blogging about pronto, because I love documentaries. No, I love them. Like, I own a copy of Jesus Camp, Capturing the Friedmans, and Join Us love. Love. Sorry, I digress: Cul de Sac: A Suburban War Story is the story of Sean and his gold mine, and his tank run.
Live news, archived by ABC, of the May 18, 1995 tank-rampage
Band names from this episode:
- Jacuzzi Sluice
- Dragon Fight
- Tank Seizure
- Meth Marriage
- Meat Microphones
- Meth Wrestling
Cultural references from this episode:
- Grand Theft Auto
- National Lampoon’s Animal House (Widescreen Double Secret Probation Edition)
- Falling Down (mentioning it again because of reasons)
Can’t get enough American police v. ridiculous crushing machines? Awesomesauce. Have another helping: the killdozer.
(Please don’t do meth, chickies. Momma Carla loves you.)