Episode 74: Dollop: Porter Rockwell

I may earn money from the participating companies linked in this post: Bookshop.org (supporting my nearby independent bookstore Bluebird & Co, in Crozet, VA) and/or Audible. My podcast is sponsored by Audible and Care/Of.

Dave: You can’t just cut off the balls with a knife without the sack being taut and ready to go, otherwise you’re just slapping at drapes with a sword.
Gareth: Someone just dropped their sandwich listening to this.

Ain’t Dead Yet * Mike M. Jensen
Orrin Porter Rockwell: Man of God, Son of Thunder * Harold Schindler
Be still, my heart! A western, starring Tom Berenger, Charlton Heston and James Coburn, in which Coburn plays Porter Rockwell! Must. See. It’s called Avenging Angel, which bumps it up even more notches. YASSSS. Movie night, Carla’s house! Pillow fort, popcorn, the works. Are you in?
And two more movies!
Or, field trip to Nauvoo? Hit me up. We can totally do this.
Deseret alphabet
The unrecognized state of Deseret (which means honeybee according to the Book of Mormon–the LDS church likes bees because they represent industry and working together as a whole) even had its own alphabet. Yep. This image translates to “one of the worst habits…”. One can only guess.
More than you might have ever wanted to know about Deseret and the beloved honeybee in the Book of Mormon, at ldsdoctrine.blogspot.

State of Deseret, 1849-1851
Oh, and did the Deseret inhabitants want a lot of land? Yes indeedy do, they did. Here’s the proposed map Brigham Young sent to Washington D.C. with John Milton Bernhise. Great googily moogily. And this is the area Porter Rockwell rode roughshod without much, if any, supervision. No wonder he kinda went all wheat!, starting a fine tradition of random American exclamations, including:

Roughing It * Mark Twain
the LDS/FLDS bookshelf at my book blog: carla.booklikes.com/shelf/lds-flds. Okay, maybe I’m a little obsessed fascinated…
Rockwell's graveIronically, Rockwell’s grave has an image of a huge man’s mitt holding an open book. Rockwell was illiterate. Ever heard of salt in the wound, y’all? Staaaahp.
And, on that note, a proper American salute to Orrin Two-Rs Porter Rockwell, The Destroying Angel of Mormondom, Mr. Invincible, Danite Enforcer, the Human Corn Dodger…Mongo loves you, man. This is for you, ya big galoot.

    band names from this episode:

  • Corn Dodger
  • Avenging Angel
  • Extermination Order
  • Overkill
  • Team of Cosbys
  • Time Out for Adults
Back to Top