Episode 77: Dollop: Thomas Kinkade

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 The beret is the scooter of the head.

God became my art agent.
–Thomas Kinkade

Thomas Kinkade was the first artist to be traded on the Wall Street Stock Exchange. He was also the first artist to have his business practices investigated by a major national newspaper.

It has been estimated that 1 in every 20 American homes owns a copy of one of his paintings. (Wikipedia)

Excuse me, I must go get some fresh air, or take a drink. Or both. One moment.
Okay, where was I? Oh, yes. The Kinkade empire.
No one buying the Kinkade dream from QVC or the Bradford Exchange or Hallmark realized that, behind the illusion, Hunter S. Thompson was drinking his legs numb. Sit a minute, and think about how much an alcoholic must drink in order to drink himself into toxic shock syndrome.
I don’t know whether to be amused or sad that his Amazon page still calls him a “devout Christian”. He is the poster boy for our tag “that’s not what Jesus meant“: drinking; destroying public property; pissing on whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted; carousing on the town after sending his wife home in another car; sleeping with girls young enough to be his daughters (granted, I am assuming the young woman in Italy wasn’t the first)…
I don’t remember that particular Gospel. Hrm.

He’s the Kenny Powers of religion.

The Village at Hiddenbrooke, Vallejo, CA, 2001, created by Taylor Woodrow:


SFGate article, with video, on The Village
His art school friend James Gurney: Dinotopia series
I think the codpiece incident in Vegas puts Kinkade squarely in the Porter Rockwell wheat! club, don’t you?
Archbishop Mitty High School of San Jose dedicated the “Thomas Kinkade Center for the Arts”, which cracks me up, because of James Thurber’s “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty“. I love such accidental humor. Love, love, love.
Final note? Imma just gonna leave this here: Wikipedia/chocolate box art
Band names from this episode:

  • Glenn Beck City
  • Codpiece
  •  Chocolate Box Art
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