Episode 96: Dollop: Egg Nog Riot

I can’t clap, but I can point like a motherfucker!


Let’s start this post off right. Our military is an honored, revered institution…that still, to this day, does not take itself too seriously. May I proudly present, from the official West Point YouTube channel:

West Point Gangnam Style:


Official Site: United States Military Academy West Point, the oldest continuously operating Army post in America, since 1778

USMA.edu: About West Point

Visiting West Point: Everyone 16 years of age and older must have a valid photo identification. Everyone who is not an American citizen must have a passport or visa. (directions)

West Point official Instagram

Official Twitter feed

official Facebook page: today’s Throwback Thursday post is video of gas chamber training. One alum’s comment: “My sinuses have never been cleaner.”

Now, let’s talk about the food, which is how our boys got in this fine mess called the Egg Nog Riot.

Military rations:

All right, is everybody ready to get ready to get really clogged up?


Was it so bad? They were at West Point, after all.

In a word, yes. And no Flintstone vitamins to be had.

From 1775 to 1900, the U.S. Army ration saw few major modifications. During the Revolution, fresh or salt meat, and soft bread or hard biscuit were the staples, with few vegetables reaching the men. For about 40 years after that war vegetables were wholly removed from the allotment. Peas and beans were reintroduced before the 1846 Mexican War, but it wasn’t until 1890 that a pound of vegetables was officially added to soldiers’ rations. Along with these changes came, in 1898, authorization of the enlistment of men to serve solely as cooks; prior to that time, soldiers were taken from the ranks to serve for short periods at no extra pay. (source)

That last sentence meant that random jackass in your barracks would be taking his turn as cook. You know, the one that picked his nose and tried to jerk off and finish before the bugle completed TAPS? He was going to be cooking your food for two weeks. Hungry yet?

And this, on the other hand, is what they were fighting for:

General Washington’s Eggnog Recipe (according to freerepublic.com)

One quart of cream
One quart of milk
A dozen eggs
One pint of brandy
A half pint of rye
A quarter pint of rum
A quarter pint of sherry

I just got drunk typing that. My vision is definitely hazy.

Let’s see, salt pork and hard tack, or cream, eggs, brandy and rum?

Wanna look at the hard tack, just to make certain? Okay, wise choice. Here’s some preserved from the Civil War era.

96: Egg Nog Riot: Hard Tack

That’s what I thought. Drink up, soldier.

I will be researching, through this blurry rum haze, more American variations of the nog, and linking them to this post and to the Food page. Until then, one drunken toast to the female cadets–if you have Madaline Kenyon’s egg nog, plebe, you are out of luck. She is the West Point record holder in the Indoor Obstacle Course Test, informally known as I Obviously Crave Torture. I share this because, thanks to arthritis, EDS, and fibro, it takes me longer than her record-setting obstacle-course time just to get to the mailbox. So, sometimes West Point cadets cause mayhem over egg nog, and sometimes, most of the time, they kick ass and take names, like Cadet Kenyon here:

The Indoor Obstacle Course Test (IOCT) has challenged cadets for more than 60 years at West Point. No female cadet has ever completed the IOCT faster than Class of 2017 Cadet Madaline Kenyon. At 2 minutes and 26 seconds, she set the new female record – a mark that had been held for more than 20 years by Class of 1989’s Tanya Cheek. Watch her run the course in this video!

Bands from this episode:

  • Captain Hops
  • Napoleon Groupie
  • Fixing Bridges
  • Secret Duels
  • Snake Dance (Duran Duran cover band)
  • Cidergliding
  • Whisperparty

sources used for original podcast broadcast:
Eggnog riot: The Christmas mutiny at West Point * James B. Agnew


Smithsonian: It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Starts a Holiday Riot


Stuff You Missed in History Class: The Podcast. 2015

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