Products so good you will beat your family

I may earn money from the participating companies linked in this post: (supporting my nearby independent bookstore Bluebird & Co, in Crozet, VA) and/or Audible. My podcast is sponsored by Audible and Care/Of.

…or your money back?

You had better sniff and taste that coffee in the Piggly-Wiggly, bitch, or you are in for a sound thrashing when your husband gets home from The Office.


You could just give the label a look-see for the brand and expiration date. This isn’t a wine tasting.

Men, if that thoughtless hausfrau of yours does not taste-test your precious your Chase & Sanborn coffee, you know you need to beat her. But how do you know if your technique is solid?

Order this “rollicking” instructional pamphlet, and up your Man of the House game.

Look how grateful she is!

Annnnnnd then we return to Kellogg, maker of food so bowel-cleansing that the domestic violence crosses the gender divide. Look at her face: that is the enraged face of a woman who is so constipated that she can taste it, and all she wanted was some Kellogg flakes to smooth out the path, goddamn it!

Constipation rage ain’t no joke, y’all. I’ve never punched a man in the head, but I understand.

I haven't pooped in a WEEK!
I haven’t pooped in a WEEK!

Sources for this little horror show: Buzzfeed, Huffington Post,  Bored Panda

Episodes: 46: The Cereal Men; 33: The Stomach Men

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