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Mental illness lies to us about isolation

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Hi, my name is Carla, I’m 46, I’m a podcaster, I have 2 dogs…and I have chronic primary and secondary depression and anxiety. What I mean by this is that I have them as stand-alone diagnoses, then have them compounded as both symptoms of, and then also natural consequences of, my chronic illnesses of EDS, fibro, and POTS. Triple whammy. I also have some PTSD issues even now from the assault I described and unpacked in episode 34, “This Girl Just Had a Bad Date”. Depression and anxiety (and PTSD) are liars, and one of the most insidious lies is that you are alone in this pain, and that you are alone in this—inability to cope? Inability to bootstrap yourself? Inability to YOLO? So I made a list in my #commonplacebook, which goes with me everywhere, of successful, “happy” people who do or have struggled with mental illness, often multiple disorders, like me. A couple of them, like @ladygaga, are also chronically ill like I am. Now, next time depression or anxiety tries to tell me I am all alone or desperate, I have receipts. I hope this list helps someone else, too. Add me to the list, and add yourself to the list. As Rumi said, we’re all just walking one another home. I will put a picture of the full list on theremightbecupcakes.com. #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #strength #bujo #bulletjournal #neveralone #horrorpodcast #truecrimepodcast #bookpodcast #literaturepodcast @braintrustfm #chronicillnesspodcast #chronicpainpodcast #spooniepodcast #spooniepodcaster #zebrapodcaster #zebrapodcast #braintrustnetwork #cursiveismagic #chronicpain #chronicillness #PTSD #beyourownheroine

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full image of spread:

 

Quote I referred to in the Instagram description:

We are all just walking each other home.

Rumi

Recommended reading:

Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair by Anne Lamott

Prozac Diary by Lauren Slater

my Goodreads chronic illness bookshelf (to be read and read)

These books added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads | please feel free to add me as a friend on Goodreads

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Episode 28: Watching the Detectives, Part 2

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series My Writing

Have you ever considered knitting? There’s no corpses in knitting, BeeGee.

–Carla Hufstedler, Watching the Detectives

As I said in the episode, my novel is inspired by the true crime case of the missing person Maura Murray.
Missing Maura Murray Podcast at Apple Podcasts
the statement of the website of the podcast and soon-to-be documentary
their photos of the accident site

Missing Maura Murray at Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

 

Whisper campaigns are rampant in both Rockingham and Loudon Counties about the possible fate of Beatrice Burchett. Public morale and confidence in the police are threatened at this time, due to silence and perceived lack of investigation.

And still, a twenty-one-year-old is not in class with her peers where she belongs.

–Carla Hufstedler, Watching the Detectives

There are always books

All, of course, have been added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads.

True Crime Addict: How I Lost Myself in the Mysterious Disappearance of Maura Murray by James Renner: audiobook format, narrated by the author, and Kindle format
Use my Audible link to receive it for free in audiobook format with a free 30-day trial membership to Audible: audibletrial/mightbecupcakes

James Renner’s blog

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

Into the Wild documentary

American Appetites by Joyce Carol Oates

Dyatlov Pass Incident

Dead Mountain: The Untold True Story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident by Donnie Eichar

Mountain of the Dead: The Dyatlov Pass Incident by Keith McCloskey

(recommended horror movie: The Devil’s Pass)

“Watching the Detectives”

“Unfaithful Music and Disappearing Ink, by Elvis Costello

Complicated Shadows: The Life and Music of Elvis Costello by Graham Thomson

Eiger Dreams: Ventures Among Men and Mountains by Jon Krakauer

 

This time, there was also music

Used in this episode: “The Mechanics of Leaving”, Haunted Me

She is watching the detectives

“He’s so cute”

watching the detectives

when they shoot shoot shoot shoot

–“Watching the Detectives”, Elvis Costello, My Aim Is True

“Keep a constant positive attitude and remember to always appreciate your team members.”

A post shared by Missing Maura Murray (@missingmauramurray) on

mauramurraymissing.org

Maura Murray missing poster

Take Back the Night campaign

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Episode 26: Pilgrim at Little Piney Creek

Little Piney Creek
Little Piney Creek, Amherst County, Virginia
photo by Carla

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard: Kindle, Audible (narrated by Tavia Gilbert), paperback formats

Some books entertain you, some books distract you, and some books, if you are very, very lucky and find them, captivate you, and take your breath away from the very first page. You recognize them–and it almost feels as if they recognize you.

–Carla Hufstedler, episode 26, Pilgrim at Little Piney Creek

The Little Piney River is a 7.6-mile-long tributary of the Piney River in Amherst County in the U.S. state of Virginia. Via the Piney and Tye rivers, it is part of the James River watershed. (Wikipedia)

The Piney River is known around here as the “Big Piney”. Naturally. And notice we are so out in the country that the map just says “2” for “District 2”.

Walden (free in ebook format), by Henry David Thoreau — I once spent the afternoon at Walden Pond, and that place truly has an aura about it. I highly recommend putting it on your bucket list. In the spirit of nature writing, here’s the facts:

  • Kettle hole formation lake, formed by glaciers retreating 10,000 to 12,000 years ago
  • Depth: 108 feet (33 m)
  • Surface area: 2,657,157 sq feet (246,858 m²)
  • Shore length: 1.70 miles (2.74 km)

Also recommended in the spirit of this book

The Art of the Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present by Philip Lopate — the personal essay is a window into the private human condition. My best English teachers gave me scores of essays to read, from antiquity to modern American history, and they taught me much about what it is to be human, and to communicate that humanity with emotional power.

my essays shelf:
Carla's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (essays shelf)

It is winter proper; the cold weather, such as it is, has come to stay. I bloom indoors in the winter like a forced forsythia; I come in to come out. At night I read and write, and things I have never understood become clear; I reap the harvest of the rest of the year’s planting…The mountains’ bones poke through, all shoulder and knob and shin. All that summer conceals, winter reveals.
—Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Little Piney River
Little Piney River, January 8, 2018, taken by Carla’s husband

It has always been a happy thought that the creek runs on all night now every minute, whether I wish it or know it or care, as a closed book on a shelf continues to whisper to itself its own inexhaustible tale.
—-Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Little Piney River
Little Piney River, January 8, 2018, taken by Carla’s husband

Putting you in the mood to put pen to paper? Good!

And you’re going to need a paper companion for your initial forage into your environment. I suggest these guided ones, which I plan upon playing with myself, and may discuss my adventures with in a future episode: The Pocket Scavenger and How to Be an Explorer of the World, both by Keri Smith.

All books, of course, added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads. Please do feel free to add me as a friend there should you like.

Also mentioned in the episode

 

And we the people are so vulnerable. Our bodies are shot with mortality. Our legs are fear and our arms are time. These chill humors seep through our capillaries, weighting each cell with an icy dab of nonbeing, and that dab grows and swelss and sucks the cell dry. That is why physical courage is so important–it fills, as it were, the holes–and why it is so invigorating. The least brave act, chance taken and passage won, makes you feel loud as a child.

–Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Perhaps it is all balanced as it should be, perhaps everything is happening exactly as it should. And, to reference the minor prophet Ferris Bueller, if you don’t open our eyes, life goes pretty fast, you’ll miss so very much. You can choose to see pain and horror or beauty and mystery in every process, every moment while still being bluntly honest about what’s happening.

–Carla Hufstedler, episode 26, Pilgrim at Little Piney Creek

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Episode 23: Look at This Tangle of Thorns

American Library Association > Frequently Challenged Books > Infographics and Statistics

 

I was within and without simultaneously enchanted and repulsed by the inexhaustible variety of life.

The Great Gatsby

 

 

selection of books from 2015, including the Bible

 

Sometimes the Bible in the hands of one man is worse than a whisky in the hands of another…There are just some kinds of men who—who’re so busy worryng about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.

To Kill a Mockingbird

 

 

I have the feeling that something in my mind is poisoning everything else.

Lolita

 

ALA: List of Most Frequently Challenged Books 1990-1999

ALA: List of Most Frequently Challenged Books 2000-2009

ALA: List of Most Frequently Challenged Books: Classics

 

No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.

The Great Gatsby

 

Most challenges are due to diversity in content:

 

selection of books from 2016
diversity challenge examples, from 2016

We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing. And I catch myself thinking today that our long journey had only defiled with a sinuous trail of slime the lovely, trustful, enormous country that by then, in retrospect, was no more to us but than a collection of dog-eared maps, ruined tour books, old tires, and her sobs in the night—every night, every night—the moment I feigned sleep.

Lolita

 

Books read in this episode

 

All books in this episode and in this post have been added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.

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Episode 19: The King’s Eclipse

 

The King’s Eclipse: two works originally intended to be one, Gerald’s Game and Dolores Claiborne

 

A huge thank you to Bev Vincent, my King consultant for this episode. He is the authority on all things King, and I highly recommend every one of his books. Here’s his work on the King:

 

Quoted, cited, and referenced

Sun Moon Earth: The History of Solar Eclipses From Omens of Doom to Einstein and Exoplanets by Tyler Nordgren

Fifty Year Canon of Solar Eclipses  1986-2035 and Thousand Year Canon of Solar Eclipses 1591-2500 both by Fred Espanek, NASA astrophysicist

 

Shakespeare: King Lear, Antony and Cleopatra

Paradise Lost by John Milton

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain

 

In the Shadow of the Moon: The Science, Magic, and Mystery of Solar Eclipses by Anthony Aveni

 

The Waves by Virginia Woolf

 

A Treatise of Eclipses of the Sun and Moon 1715-1744 by Charles Leadbetter

 

All of the episode’s books have been added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.

Audible recommendation for your free book to keep, for trying one month of membership free (and supporting my podcast, thank you so very much!): click through audibletrial.com/mightbecupcakes, and choose either Dolores Claiborne, narrated by the wonderful character actor Frances Sternhagen, or Gerald’s Game, narrated by the equally strong Lindsay Crouse. You may also support me by purchasing them through Audible’s partner, Amazon, and again, I thank you:

 

 

Film versions

trailer for the film version of Dolores Claiborne

trailer for the film version of Gerald’s Game, now on Netflix:

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Episode 18: Yellow

“The Yellow-Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, one of the finest short stories written in the English language…hopefully done some justice as read by me.

 

Collected in:

 

Academic examination of:

Wild Unrest: Charlotte Perkins Gilman and the Making of “The Yellow Wall-Paper” by by Helen Lefkowitz Horowitz

 

Quoted in the episode:

 

I escape, one way or another. No more walls.

—Anais Nin

 

All of the epsiode’s books have been added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.

 

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Episode 16: I’ve Got Something in My Pocket

This entry is part 3 of 2 in the series Girl Scouting

Girl Scouts banner

On my honor
I will try
to serve God and my country,
to help people at all times,
and to live by the Girl Scout Law.

my mom swearing me in as a Brownie, aka me, saying the Girl Scout Promise for the first time

I will do my best to be
Honest and fair
Friendly and helpful
Considerate and caring
Courageous and strong
Responsible for what I say and do
And to respect myself and others
Respect authority
Use resources wisely
Make the world a better place
And be a sister to ever Girl Scout.

Felt’s tricky to cut, y’all.

official bio of Juliette Gordon Low

I’ve got something for the girls of Savannah, and all of America, and all the world, and we’re going to start it tonight!
–Juliette Gordon Low, 1912

GirlScouts.org/World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

My Cadette troop’s cookie sale advertisements. Smart girls: they sold up at Wintergreen to snowboarders with the munchies.

Dirty Dancing 30th anniversary special edition
This is the “Hey Sylvia/Love is Strange” by Mickey & Sylvia video I referenced in the episode; they are dancing in the upper story of the arts and crafts cabin.

Dirty Dancing soundtrack

 

Audible book suggestion for this episode

My Life by Patrick Swayze and his wife, Lisa Niemi, narrated by Patrick Swayze. You can either get it for free, along with a no-hassle thirty-day trial membership to Audible, through my sponsor link–and by doing so, support my podcast, thank you so very much, or through Audible’s partner, Amazon, in either the same audio format, Kindle, paperback, or hardcover. Any of these purchases through these links helps support both my sponsor and me, and I thank you.

 

Campfire charcoal Dutch oven chicken pot pie. Yum. I love Girl Scout recipes.

Were you a Girl Scout? Sign up via email to the Girl Scout Alumnae Association. I did!

Want to be a Girl Scout? Join GS USA! Join Girl Guides Canada! Join Girl Guides International!

 

My husband made a cookie-sales goal wager with our Cadettes. They won. At our campout, they got to shear his braid and shave his beard.
…and there goes the beard.

Want to visit Juliette “Daisy” Gordon Low’s birthplace?
10 E. Oglethorpe Avenue, Savannah, GA 31401, Tel: 912 233-4501

Map and street view thanks to Bing

 

My leader pin. 5 years as a Scout (3 Brownies, 2 Junior), 2 years an assistant leader), always an alum!

Oh, and what do I have in my pocket? I’ll let Iris tell and show you:

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Episode 14: Watching the Detectives

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series My Writing

 And they were all rich. Rich in looks, rich in opportunity, rich in already wasted opportunities, rich in network, and rich in funds. And rich in frustrations, many of which they could not even name.

–Carla Hufstedler, Watching the Detectives

 

As I said in the episode, my novel is inspired by the true crime case of the missing person Maura Murray.
Missing Maura Murray Podcast at Apple Podcasts
the statement of the website of the podcast and soon-to-be documentary
their photos of the accident site

Missing Maura Murray at Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

There are always books

All, of course, have been added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads.

True Crime Addict: How I Lost Myself in the Mysterious Disappearance of Maura Murray by James Renner: audiobook format, narrated by the author, and Kindle format
Use my Audible link to receive it for free in audiobook format with a free 30-day trial membership to Audible: audibletrial/mightbecupcakes

James Renner’s blog

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Unfaithful Music and Disappearing Ink, by Elvis Costello

Complicated Shadows: The Life and Music of Elvis Costello by Graham Thomson

 

This time, there was also music

Used in this episode: “The Mechanics of Leaving”, Haunted Me

 

 

“Keep a constant positive attitude and remember to always appreciate your team members.”

A post shared by Missing Maura Murray (@missingmauramurray) on

mauramurraymissing.org

Maura Murray missing poster

 

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Episode 13: 20 Things About INFJMe

Book recommended in this episode: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain (Audible edition from Amazon)

Sponsor Audible link to choose it for free and receive thirty days trial membership

Quiet in Kindle format

Quiet in Paperback format

Another suggestions, also by Cain: Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids by Susan Cain, Gregory Mone, and Erica Moroz

Both books have been added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.
If you have an account at Goodreads, please feel free to add me as a friend!

Susan McCain‘s website is quietrev.com, which has tons of resources, including a introvert/ambivert/extrovert test. Take it and see what result you get–see where you fall on the spectrum! I did, and again came out as an introvert.

From her site:

It matters because introversion and extroversion lie at the heart of human nature. One scientist refers to them as “the north and south of temperament.” When you make life choices that are congruent with your temperament—and allow others to do the same—you unleash vast stores of energy.

Conversely, when you spend too much time battling your own nature, the opposite happens: you deplete yourself.

 

Sometimes all we need for growth and learning is some time with ourselves #RethinkQuiet

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