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Mental illness lies to us about isolation

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Hi, my name is Carla, I’m 46, I’m a podcaster, I have 2 dogs…and I have chronic primary and secondary depression and anxiety. What I mean by this is that I have them as stand-alone diagnoses, then have them compounded as both symptoms of, and then also natural consequences of, my chronic illnesses of EDS, fibro, and POTS. Triple whammy. I also have some PTSD issues even now from the assault I described and unpacked in episode 34, “This Girl Just Had a Bad Date”. Depression and anxiety (and PTSD) are liars, and one of the most insidious lies is that you are alone in this pain, and that you are alone in this—inability to cope? Inability to bootstrap yourself? Inability to YOLO? So I made a list in my #commonplacebook, which goes with me everywhere, of successful, “happy” people who do or have struggled with mental illness, often multiple disorders, like me. A couple of them, like @ladygaga, are also chronically ill like I am. Now, next time depression or anxiety tries to tell me I am all alone or desperate, I have receipts. I hope this list helps someone else, too. Add me to the list, and add yourself to the list. As Rumi said, we’re all just walking one another home. I will put a picture of the full list on theremightbecupcakes.com. #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #strength #bujo #bulletjournal #neveralone #horrorpodcast #truecrimepodcast #bookpodcast #literaturepodcast @braintrustfm #chronicillnesspodcast #chronicpainpodcast #spooniepodcast #spooniepodcaster #zebrapodcaster #zebrapodcast #braintrustnetwork #cursiveismagic #chronicpain #chronicillness #PTSD #beyourownheroine

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full image of spread:

 

Quote I referred to in the Instagram description:

We are all just walking each other home.

Rumi

Recommended reading:

Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair by Anne Lamott

Prozac Diary by Lauren Slater

my Goodreads chronic illness bookshelf (to be read and read)

These books added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads | please feel free to add me as a friend on Goodreads

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Episode 21: Nine Days and Two Car Seats

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series Against the Peace and Dignity of the Commonwealth

Susan Smith, Union, South Carolina

My sources for this episode

Further recommended reading

 

All books have been added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.

 

Susan’s extremely peculiar, calm, and seemingly cheerful confession note:

 

 

Findagrave: Alexander Tyler Smith (1993-1994)

Findagrave: Michael Daniel Smith (1991-1994)

 

Murderpedia: Susan Smith

 

Susan Smith: Child Killer full length documentary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JLz37EAAow

American Justice episode

Tommy Pope. prosecutor, speaks out 20 years later

Steve Harvey:

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There Might Be Cupcakes Podcast

About Me, Myself, and Cupcakes

This is how long I have been working on this podcast.

Hi, I’m Carla. I’m a 47-year-old disabled writer. I live on a mountain in the Appalachian range, in the section known as the Blue Ridge in the state of Virginia, right on the edge of the George Washington National Forest. The latter makes the Missing 411 phenomenon extra spooky.

The official (read: written by me, I’m the only one here) podcast description for There Might Be Cupcakes gives a lot of information about my shenanigans here:

Carla is: a bookdrunkard, a 40-something with psychology and counseling degrees with post-grad work in grief/loss/trauma, sex crimes, and forensic anthropology.

a former freelance journalist and counselor, who is never bored.

a disabled introvert who sees connections everywhere–like John Nash, only less math-y.

a knitting fidget who loves horror movies with a skewed passion.

Like one of her heroes, Harriet the Spy, she wants to learn everything and write in all down (more likely than not in her bullet journal).

Join her (and sometimes her friends) in her strange library as she INFJs everything from unused angles.

It’s going to get weird in the best way. Let’s play.

I try to release episodes about once a week; I release right now as my health allows. I post a website entry for each episode, with more information, photographs, and suggested reading for that particular episode, and the available stream and downloadable MP3 for that episode. I will post additional posts from my Instagram, my Pinterest, and from anything topical that catches my interest and I think might interest you throughout each week.

All social media links:

Come hang out and say hi!

Most Recent Website Entries

WordPress All website entries

Disorders

My disabilities are Ehlers-Danlos, Hypermobility Type, POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), and fibromyalgia. Basically, the collagen in all twelve systems of my body is damaged, everything hurts all the time, and my blood pressure is not stable with a sudden change in posture (hard sneeze, laughing, standing up). My body is my frenemy.

How to subscribe

Finally…why cupcakes?

My friend, Greg Behrendt, has a comedy routine about how he would do unpleasant things for cake, and that anywhere you go, there might be cake. Well, cupcakes are all that and more: portable, equal, fancier…and so much more. The title represents sharing, hope, whimsy…and here’s Greg’s routine. Enjoy, and always remember there might be cupcakes.

Need to contact me?

Easy peasy: carla@nulltheremightbecupcakes.com

Ask me a question or suggest a book or topic.

Carla Hufstedler

1137 Little Piney Road

Roseland, VA 22967

Google Voice, to speak with me directly or to record a nice message to be played on the podcast: 434-214-0873

How to support me and the podcast

And thank you immensely, just for listening and visiting! I love my listeners, every one. Just your lending me your ears every week makes me so very happy, more than I can express

colophon: All content in podcast and on website not held in copyright by others copyright 2017-2019 Carla Pettigrew Hufstedler. All rights reserved.

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Episode 9: Family Trees

The most courageous is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

–Coco Chanel

All books, as usual, added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads.

Quoted:

The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons From the World’s Most Elegant Woman by Karen Karbo

To Kill a Mockingbird: novel and movie

The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

The Great Gatsby: novel, movie (1974)–Robert Redford, Bruce Dern, and Mia Farrow and movie (2013)–Leonardo diCaprio, Tobey Maguire, and Carey Mulligan –both recommended by me

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events

Referenced:

Hairspray

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (novel by Fannie Flagg) and Fried Green Tomatoes (movie with the Kathy Bates! Yay!) and the splendiferous Fannie Flagg’s Original Whistle Stop Cafe Cookbook

Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns

Indiana Jones

Audibled:

He’d Just Not That Into You: The No- Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

It’s Just a Fucking Date by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

Sex in the City

Greg’s comedy: Greg Behrendt is That Guy From That Thing and Greg Behrendt Is Uncool

Dolloped:

Dollop entry about my mom’s attempt to sneak into a Ku Klux Klan rally, with links to Dollop episodes about the KKK

Grandpa Porter at the dollop

My great grandfather Cornelius Porter, held up with a Brady stand for what was supposed to be his premortem portrait

Clarence Darrow

My great-great-great grandfather Richard Franklin Pettigrew, Senator R. F. Pettigrew from South Dakota, reason behind the scandal of the “Pettigrew Indictment”

Pettigrew Home and Museum

congress.gov bio

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Episode 6: Let’s Go to the Movies

Part 1: the movie briefcase

Patton Oswalt‘s book: Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life From an Addiction to Film

The Godfather (1972) …also from a novel, naturally

Movies from my childhood in episode:
Star Wars (1977)
The Rescuers (1977) …also from a novel
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Pete’s Dragon (1977)
Superman II (1980)
Herbie marathon: The Love Bug (1968), Herbie Rides Again (1974), Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)

Part 2: found in translation

My books to movie list from this episode, in order:
Tie for 1. The Exorcist, The Silence of the Lambs, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
4. The Dead Zone
5. Harriet the Spy
6. Frankenstein
7. Little Women
8. Hamlet
9. Interview with the Vampire
10. Dracula
special mention. Bridge to Terabithia

…and their best adaption to film, in my opinion (if given a choice):

 

…and don’t forget Scream (your girl’s been making it rain popcorn since 1996) and A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 original) (bound in a nutshell and made a king of infinite space)

 

 

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Episode 1: Poe and Carla and Cupcakes: Nicetameetcha

Poe and Carla and Cupcakes: Nicetameetcha

In which Carla explains why eccentric doesn’t equal crazy, that horror poetry is a thing, and cupcakes are linked to better mental health. And books. So many books.

Believe only of what you see, and nothing of what you hear.

Edgar Allan Poe

original of Poe’s “Annabel Lee” manuscript, 1846

Annabel Lee

By Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;–
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingéd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud by night
chilling my Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me:—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud, chilling
And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:–

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea. (original manuscript says “by the side of the sea”)

 

 

Valentine
Virginia‘s acrostic Valentine to Edgar, 1846, in her handwriting

text of Virginia Clemm Poe’s acrostic Valentine :

Ever with thee I wish to roam–

Dearest my life is thine.

Give me a cottage for my home

And a rich old cypress vine

Removed from the world with its sin and care

And the tattling of many tongues.

Love alone shall guide us when we are there–

Love shall heal my weakened lungs;

And Oh, the tranquil hours we’ll spend,

Never wishing that others may see!

Perfect ease we’ll enjoy without thinking to lend

Ourselves to the world and its glee–

Ever peaceful and blissful we’ll be.

 

Saturday February 14, 1846.

 

Harold Schechter: Edgar Allan Poe Mysteries series order

  1. Nevermore
  2. The Hum Bug aka Edgar Allan Poe and the Mystery Museum
  3. The Mask of Red Death aka Edgar Allan Poe and the Frontier Fiend
  4. The Tell-Tale Corpse aka Edgar Allan Poe and the Concord Killer

Greg Behrendt:

more info on the Myers-Briggs, the INFJ (me) and the INFP (Poe)–take the test yourself at 16personalities.com

Book Riot: The Myers-Briggs Types of  101 Famous Authors (caveat: according to Book Riot)

 

And who is that John Nash guy with all the connections? I’m glad you asked: book, movie (everything’s connected)

The Dollop’s website, for which I write: thedollop.net — thedollop.net/tag/Poe

 

Podcast recommendations (tell ’em I sent you):

 

Edith Wharton’s spot-on take on the horrors of social drama and vicious gossip: The Age of Innocence (movie). Nailed the dismount.

 

See how everything’s connected? — Fascinating background context to their lives

Presidents during their lives:

at Edgar’s birth, until March 4, 1809: Thomas Jefferson; then James Madison

at Virginia’s birth, 1822: James Monroe

at Virginia’s death, 1847: James K. Polk

at Edgar’s death, 1849: Zachary Taylor

I always had this (erroneous, I see) picture in my head of Lincoln‘s being president during Edgar’s adult writing career. Hrm. Cognitive dissonance and reframing in brain occurring…now.

Full list of presidents from period of January 19, 1809 (Edgar’s birth) to October 7, 1849 (Edgar’s death)/(presidents in office during both Edgar and Virginia’s (18221847) lives in italics):

The first (and second) presidents ever to die in office! Imagine awakening to that newspaper. How earthshaking. Whoops, um, President Harrison has died after 30 days in office. Yeah, we don’t know to act, either, beyond inaugurating the vice president. AWKward. Stay tuned.

Harrison was also the last US president to be born a British subject on American soil (Charles City, Virginia); so, when his VP, John Tyler was elected, he was the first American-born citizen to be inaugurated as president. Yes, that means that James K. Polk was the first American citizen to be elected president. If you win at trivia thanks to me, give my podcast a shoutout, and let me know, hey?

Wars during this period:

War of 1812 (18121815)
Mexican War (18461848)

States ratified during Edgar’s life: 13 (the 5 states that joined the Union during Virginia’s life are in italics):

  1. Louisiana: 1812
  2. Indiana: 1816
  3. Mississippi: 1817
  4. Illinois: 1818
  5. Alabama: 1819
  6. Maine: 1820
  7. Missouri: 1821
  8. Arkansas: 1836
  9. Michigan: 1837
  10. Florida: 1845
  11. Texas: 1845
  12. Iowa: 1846
  13. Wisconsin: 1848

Think about it! 13 states became part of the United States during Poe’s lifetime! That’s not a casual hey-how-you-doing, now-you-belong-to-the-neighborhood-watch-committee thing. Edgar went to bed 13 times to awaken to newsies shouting about an entirely new state moving in next door. Make friends, because Arkansas just moved in and is never leaving. Enjoy your coffee; we’re 25 states now, not 24, don’t get it twisted. Welcome to the future.

 links in this section are to tags for these events and years at thedollop.net; if some of them don’t have any articles attached, they will eventually, believe you me

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Social Media Xanadu

All my (and the podcast’s) social media:

That’s you all over.

–The Tin Man to the Scarecrow, The Wizard of Oz

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
and. . .
Tumblr Tumblr


Instagram: Instagram There Might Be Cupcakes account, Instagram my personal account


Twitter: Twitter There Might Be Cupcakes account, Twitter my personal account


Facebook Facebook page for the podcast, Facebook Facebook group for the podcast

Pinterest: the Pinterest There Might Be Cupcakes board, Pinterest all my boards

Podchaser

books

Goodreads

Goodreads:

There Might Be Cupcakes Group’s currently-reading book montage
There Might Be Cupcakes Group
20 members
Official Goodreads group for the literary-based podcast There Might Be Cupcakes, written and hosted by Carla Pettigrew Hufstedler: Books, Horror, True Crime, Paranormal, Personal Stories, Knitting, Bujos, Writing & Whimsy

Books we’re currently reading

FantasticLand
FantasticLand
by Mike Bockoven
Start date: July 17, 2019

Pack
Pack
by Mike Bockoven
Start date: July 17, 2019



View this group on Goodreads »

Goodreads my account

Goodreads my Goodreads bookshelf for the podcast (feed)

Goodreads the podcast’s Goodreads discussion group

Litsy

Booklikes

movies

Letterboxd

Letterboxd:

knitting and paper and making stuff

Ravelry
my Etsy Etsy store

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Carla: Pinterest

See? Wasn’t kidding. Everything fascinates me. I want to learn it all and do it all and write it all down and this is why I need a podcast as an outlet. This is what my brain looks like, peeps.

The podcast’s board:

My books board:

My true crime board:

All of my boards:

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There Might Be Cupcakes: Reason No. 1

Why “cupcakes?”

Why cupcakes? Why show up if there might be cupcakes? Why are you calling your podcast “There Might Be Cupcakes”, flaky chick? So many reasons, starting with all the reasons in my friend @greggaestyle and his splendid comedy routine about the joy of cake. But so many more riffing off of that! Here’s one: with cupcakes, you can eat your cake and eat it, too–more cupcakes remain! (and yes, that is the proper rendition of the saying, so there is your proper warning about your host and her geekiness.) #theremightbecupcakes #sprinklescupcakes #cupcakes #carlaclaradox #carlahufstedler #newpodcast #cake #comedy #preparation #quotes #vanillapen #podcastpreparation #history #podcast #podcasts #theremightbecake #gregbehrendt #friends #happiness #happinessiskey

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