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Mental illness lies to us about isolation

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Hi, my name is Carla, I’m 46, I’m a podcaster, I have 2 dogs…and I have chronic primary and secondary depression and anxiety. What I mean by this is that I have them as stand-alone diagnoses, then have them compounded as both symptoms of, and then also natural consequences of, my chronic illnesses of EDS, fibro, and POTS. Triple whammy. I also have some PTSD issues even now from the assault I described and unpacked in episode 34, “This Girl Just Had a Bad Date”. Depression and anxiety (and PTSD) are liars, and one of the most insidious lies is that you are alone in this pain, and that you are alone in this—inability to cope? Inability to bootstrap yourself? Inability to YOLO? So I made a list in my #commonplacebook, which goes with me everywhere, of successful, “happy” people who do or have struggled with mental illness, often multiple disorders, like me. A couple of them, like @ladygaga, are also chronically ill like I am. Now, next time depression or anxiety tries to tell me I am all alone or desperate, I have receipts. I hope this list helps someone else, too. Add me to the list, and add yourself to the list. As Rumi said, we’re all just walking one another home. I will put a picture of the full list on theremightbecupcakes.com. #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #strength #bujo #bulletjournal #neveralone #horrorpodcast #truecrimepodcast #bookpodcast #literaturepodcast @braintrustfm #chronicillnesspodcast #chronicpainpodcast #spooniepodcast #spooniepodcaster #zebrapodcaster #zebrapodcast #braintrustnetwork #cursiveismagic #chronicpain #chronicillness #PTSD #beyourownheroine

A post shared by There Might Be Cupcakes (@theremightbecupcakes) on

full image of spread:

 

Quote I referred to in the Instagram description:

We are all just walking each other home.

Rumi

Recommended reading:

Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair by Anne Lamott

Prozac Diary by Lauren Slater

my Goodreads chronic illness bookshelf (to be read and read)

These books added to the podcast’s bookshelf on Goodreads | please feel free to add me as a friend on Goodreads

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Book Lists: Chronic Illness

Listopia on Goodreads:

my chronic illness Goodreads bookshelf

Bumped to the top of my to-be-read list from these two Listopia/Goodreads lists:

Do you have any recommendations or additions?

the podcast’s bookshelf

please feel free to add me as a friend on Goodreads

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All Podcast Episodes

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Episode 19 Teaser

Lovelies, I am sorry, but I am not going to be recording and publishing until tomorrow. I almost had a syncope (POTS fainting) episode today–luckily thwarted by last week’s ER doc’s medical advice, but even “almost” tears my body up.

But it’s going to be a good one, and since I am late, I will go ahead and spill:

It’s all about the eclipse, folklore about eclipses, and all tied into The Eclipse: The King Eclipse that empowered and psychically connected Jessie Burlingame (Gerald’s Game) and Dolores Clairborne.

To get you excited and tide you over, here’s the trailer for the amazing adaption of Dolores Claiborne, starring my friend in my head Kathy Bates and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Enjoy, and I will see you tomorrow.

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There Might Be Cupcakes Podcast

About Me, Myself, and Cupcakes

This is how long I have been working on this podcast.

Hi, I’m Carla. I’m a 47-year-old disabled writer. I live on a mountain in the Appalachian range, in the section known as the Blue Ridge in the state of Virginia, right on the edge of the George Washington National Forest. The latter makes the Missing 411 phenomenon extra spooky.

The official (read: written by me, I’m the only one here) podcast description for There Might Be Cupcakes gives a lot of information about my shenanigans here:

Carla is: a bookdrunkard, a 40-something with psychology and counseling degrees with post-grad work in grief/loss/trauma, sex crimes, and forensic anthropology.

a former freelance journalist and counselor, who is never bored.

a disabled introvert who sees connections everywhere–like John Nash, only less math-y.

a knitting fidget who loves horror movies with a skewed passion.

Like one of her heroes, Harriet the Spy, she wants to learn everything and write in all down (more likely than not in her bullet journal).

Join her (and sometimes her friends) in her strange library as she INFJs everything from unused angles.

It’s going to get weird in the best way. Let’s play.

I try to release episodes about once a week; I release right now as my health allows. I post a website entry for each episode, with more information, photographs, and suggested reading for that particular episode, and the available stream and downloadable MP3 for that episode. I will post additional posts from my Instagram, my Pinterest, and from anything topical that catches my interest and I think might interest you throughout each week.

All social media links:

Come hang out and say hi!

Most Recent Website Entries

WordPress All website entries

Disorders

My disabilities are Ehlers-Danlos, Hypermobility Type, POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), and fibromyalgia. Basically, the collagen in all twelve systems of my body is damaged, everything hurts all the time, and my blood pressure is not stable with a sudden change in posture (hard sneeze, laughing, standing up). My body is my frenemy.

How to subscribe

Finally…why cupcakes?

My friend, Greg Behrendt, has a comedy routine about how he would do unpleasant things for cake, and that anywhere you go, there might be cake. Well, cupcakes are all that and more: portable, equal, fancier…and so much more. The title represents sharing, hope, whimsy…and here’s Greg’s routine. Enjoy, and always remember there might be cupcakes.

Need to contact me?

Easy peasy: carla@nulltheremightbecupcakes.com

Ask me a question or suggest a book or topic.

Carla Hufstedler

1137 Little Piney Road

Roseland, VA 22967

Google Voice, to speak with me directly or to record a nice message to be played on the podcast: 434-214-0873

How to support me and the podcast

And thank you immensely, just for listening and visiting! I love my listeners, every one. Just your lending me your ears every week makes me so very happy, more than I can express

colophon: All content in podcast and on website not held in copyright by others copyright 2017-2019 Carla Pettigrew Hufstedler. All rights reserved.

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Episode 12: Driving, Dancing, and Pizza Hut

As I said, staring is caring with Arlo.

Book suggested for Audible: Yes Please by Amy Poehler

link for free copy of Yes Please and a 30-day trial of Audible, the wonderful audiobook subscription service and store with the best customer service of any bookstore

link to purchase Yes Please in audio format, narrated by the author, from Audible’s partner, Amazon

Books quoted in the entry

Yes Please by Amy Poehler (link to Kindle edition)

The Magicians series by Lev Grossman:

  1. The Magicians
  2. The Magician King
  3. The Magician’s Land

Carl Jung: Psychological Types

The Book of Esther

SARK: Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change Into Gift and Opportunity

All books added to the podcast’s Goodreads bookshelf.

Quick doodle for fun: my purse as assistive device. ♿️ My @mochigrams Better Together cross-shoulder bag stays balanced when I use my cane, lays flat when still strapped on when I am seated–out of my way & the way of medical professionals trying to do their job. And #whatsinmybag — anything I might need, from my medical log (which includes emergency info, all doctors + all my meds & appointments) to my Kindle, from dry mouth medicated lozenges to my guardian doll 😎, a treasured gift from @anotherjill. And yes, I do keep my extra pain meds in a Freud pillcase.

Throwback Thursday: “You’ll know it is time to turn the page when you hear the chime, like this.”
I love this photo for three reasons: the headphones–I look like I’m dropping beats, or working for NASA; I love any picture of my reading as a child; and, the already-visible EDS. You can see the Hypermobility in my oddly-turned ankle and in the unnatural way I am holding the headphones.
Also: is that a dress or the tiniest pantsuit ever?

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Episode 5: Haunted Me and the Red Book

…and a true crime mystery from Carla’s past to solve. Truly!

In which Carla extolls the haunting music of the musician she has been highlighting in episodes, bemoans the dentist appointment that makes this episode short (but 1 of 2 this week!), and reads you a Scottish folktale explaining how evil was loosed unto the world.

Haunted Me:

  • Bandcamp, where you can purchase his three EPs, Pale One, Pleasure, and Humming Ghost
  • Facebook page
  • video for his song “Floating Stones”

 

and books! of course! All added to our bookshelf on Goodreads:

Celtic Tales: Fairy Tales and Stories of Enchantment from Ireland, Scotland, Brittany, and Wales, by Kate Forrester

The Folklore of the Scottish Highlands, by Anne Ross

Scottish Fairy and Folk Tales (Illustrated), by George Douglas

Scottish Herbs and Fairy Lore, by Ellen Evert Hopman

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Patron: So many plans! So many cupcakes!

So many plans! Not for me–for us! So, if you please…

(Or on Patreon, either or. Same reward structure, same results.)

 

Why? Glad you asked!

There Might Be Cupcakes Podcast Patron Announcement from Carla Hufstedler on Vimeo.

 

podcast plans: cupcake costume
I’m doing this whole podcast preparation thing right, right? Next step is costumes?

Want even more information before you decide to invest? No problem!:

Podcast Episodes

About Me, Myself, and Cupcakes

 

 

So thank you, lovelies! And yes, 1 dollar per month helps immensely. Truly.

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Episode 3: Ghoulies and Ghosties and Long Legged Beasties…

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Paranormal

True ghost stories as told by Carla, round one:

Books recommended in/for this episode (all added to the podcast bookshelf on Goodreads):

book which I used to verify my experiences with hearing family members go through their routines yet not be home:

Grave’s End, by Elaine Mercado

true ghost stories:

Ghosts by Hans Holzer — This is a no-joke read, both for time investment and the author’s investment. Holzer was a serious investigator, and can be called the first “ghost hunter”, if one goes for that term. He can be considered the next person after William James to go seek the hauntings themselves in order to learn. I own the paperback, and it is so substantial I cannot lift it on a high-Ehlers-Danlos pain day. I fear I might dislocate a wrist. No kidding, this book might be a go-to weapon in case of a surprise prowler. I have no doubt I could knock out a grown man if I took him by surprise with this book.

and The People in the Attic by Doretta Johnson with Jim Henderson. It’s out of print, but that is to your benefit–gently-used copies start on Amazon at under a dollar. It’s well worth the read.

and fiction:

Of course. the impeccable The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson. I am blessed to have befriended several horror writers, and have discussed the perfection of the opening and ending paragraphs of this novel with a few of them. We all heartily agree that these might be the most perfect beginning and endings to an American novel ever, right up there with The Great Gatsby and Lolita. That’s dem fine company, to paraphrase a certain evil wizard-wannabe uncle you might have met along your reading journeys. I recommend the audio version, narrated by the sublime Bernadette Dunne; she truly understands Jackson’s work on a deep level. She also wonderfully narrates Jackson’s We Have Always Lived in the Castle, another novel about another demented domicile, haunted in quite a different manner from Hill House…and in some ways, the same.

Demented domicile is my pet term for a house that is wrong. It might be haunted, it might be cursed, or built on cursed land. It might even be sentient. The reason may never be known. But no good comes to those who live there. It’s my favorite subgenre of horror.

The House Next Door, by Anne Rivers Siddons

The House, and The Haunted, both by Bentley Little

The House That Jack Built, by Graham Masterton

read in episode:

Emily Dickinson

 

music in this episode:

“Humming Ghosts” and “She Comes Through the Fog” by Haunted Me

See you next week for more personal ghost stories, and more reading recommendations. There’s no shame in sleeping with the lights on.

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