The Dollop cares about how you care for your penis

I may earn money from the participating companies linked in this post: (supporting my nearby independent bookstore Bluebird & Co, in Crozet, VA) and/or Audible. My podcast is sponsored by Audible and Care/Of.

So to speak.


So, while I work on catching up with the podcast’s episodes, I leave you with these vintage gems about the care and feeding/sheathing of your Little General. Enjoy.

Key phrases to note before you indulge:

Ready and Steady (pro tip: probably not a good idea to actually use this phrase in action while naked)

Going Steady with Hitler (Grade A Boner Killer = imagining wearing Hitler’s frat pin or class ring)

No belt strip rubber (which tells me that at some point there were garter belts for men? Also, only one pistol needed in your pants, boys.)

My personal favorite: I Take It Everywhere I Take My Penis! (Are there places you go that your penis doesn’t, Mr. Potato Head?)

Hitler sex



  1. How much does this Hitler look like Archie? My best friend Joshua agreed, and we decided that this alt-universe Archie would definitely be Team Veronica. In a really, really dark way. High-heeled black leather boots way. Riding crops way. We have ruined Archie for you, or you are wanking to it now, either way, you’re welcome.

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